Following

For the past few New Years I have said, “This is the year, this is the year I will actually do something with my writing; write a devotional that can be used somewhere, piece my writings together for a book, write every day…….” Well, a good three years later and the closest I have come to any of those things is writing more often and by more often I mean every few months. I tend to think of that as failing. I feel I am supposed to write and maybe lead others to Christ through my writings, at least show others a side of God that maybe they hadn’t thought about before. If I am supposed to be doing something so important then why in the heck isn’t God allowing me to have more time to achieve this goal? Why would God give me a talent and then no time to use it? If there wasn’t so much going on all the time then I could most definitely find the time. If, if, if……….

This year I did not make any resolutions to write more or get published or find somewhere that could use my stuff as devotionals. This year I simply did not set any goals pertaining to writing. This year I want God to use me, not me trying to do exactly what I think I should be doing and then questioning why things aren’t going as planned. What is that saying? If you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans. This whole time I have been setting these unrealistic goals and then getting upset when there was no real progress. Brilliant, I know.

Maybe it isn’t that I am supposed to write, maybe I am just supposed to allow myself to be flexible and bend to what God wants me to do. A few months ago I had a God leading me experience, new to me, totally out of my comfort zone and a bit scary. As much as I tried to make excuses, the more adamant the Holy Spirit was that I followed through and did as I was being called to do. I did follow through and have met an amazing young lady through the process.

This year I want to be led and be obedient and not set goals limiting to God’s leading, my agenda is off the table. If my writings are supposed to lead people to Christ then they will, if I am supposed to be published then I will, if they are just supposed to be nice reads then that is good too. If all they ever become is a blog, then so be it.

I want my time on earth to reflect Christ, I want to walk the walk and not just wear the t-shirts proclaiming my faith but then not have people see it in me, what good is that? Not much. I want Christ to be seen in who I am, whether it is giving to someone without, listening to someone or just being a positive voice in the life of others.

I am done thinking of myself as a someday kind of person, one day I will do what I feel I am called to do and then I will be somebody, someday I will be able to pursue my dreams. Today may be all that I have, lead me today Lord, use me today. Your will, not my own.

Advertisement