The everyday reminders that you are still here for a reason. Some physical, some emotional, sometimes both. Across my stomach is a line, above that a little indention and on my ankle another smaller line. As a child I did not notice my scars, as a teenager going to the pool I noticed them tremendously, never wanting to show my stomach, it was not perfect and never would or could be, always a reminder. As an adult I am thankful for the reminders that tell me I must still be here for a purpose, for a reason.
Allow me to explain. I came into this world just like any other baby and continued to be “normal” for the next few weeks. Around week three or four weeks things began to change, I would drink a bottle but then throw it up, it got so bad that I eventually did not want to eat and would scream and cry all the time. My mom took me to the family doctor, to other doctors and they all said the same thing “She just has a bug of some sort and it will pass”. My mom’s motherly intuition knew better, she knew there was something much worse happening in my little body. At six weeks old an answer finally came, a doctor that finally did an xray and could see very clearly what was wrong. I was born with a malrotation of the large intestine which pretty much means my large intestine was in a knot, a loose knot at birth which grew tighter as I grew and eventually stopped anything from going through my intestines. Another symptom I had was nothing was coming out the other end and yet the doctors still said some sort of bug, obviously xrays were not used as commonly in the seventies as they are now but i think that would have been a good enough reason for one. Once my mom saw the xray she knew time was of the essence, she called my dad at work and both were at the hospital within the hour and I was being wheeled in for emergency surgery. As the nurses wheeled me away they asked my mom if she wanted to kiss me goodbye, she fell to her knees and cried. I hope that is the worst emotional pain I ever caused my parents, it still brings tears to my eyes when I think what she and my dad must have been going through.
The line across my stomach is where they cut my little six week old body, the indention above is where my feeding tube was placed and the line on my ankle is where my IV was inserted. All of these scars have grown and stretched with me over the years, I used to see them as imperfections and now I see them as a second chance at life, a reason for me to still be here. Now figuring out what that reason is will be a whole other story. To God be the Glory~
